have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
