remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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