yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize