Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
