I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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