Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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