I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
