dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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