I'm jealous of your bromance
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
