If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
