I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
