i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
