Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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