Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
