Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
