You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
