Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
