i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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