I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
