someone get that fucking seahorse.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
