just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
