a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
