you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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