Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My dick has a subreddit
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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