id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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