I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
