i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
