I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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