I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
