This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize