this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
