Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
