I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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