You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
