I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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