is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
