Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
