And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
