I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You did what with his pubic hair?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
