Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
