Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
