FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize