I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
