last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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