I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
