plz talk dirty to me
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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