after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize