i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
