I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
