he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
last night I used snow as a chaser
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