I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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