id be glad to
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
