someone get that fucking seahorse.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize