Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
