it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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