where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
