Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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