this boner is exhausting
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
