Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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