JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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