I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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